Beauty, as we know it, is mostly external, or what meets the eye.
Life is full of beauty in ways we can’t even comprehend. In ways, we are most often never told to recognise. The world actually is full only of beautiful things and people.
Things or people are given ugly connotations and meanings by us, humans, God did not create even a single ugly thing or person. Like a painter does not create an ugly painting, all he / she creates is beauty, that’s how the universe made every single thing / person here.
Contrary to God’s creation, humans, when we can’t discover beauty within, we start to call others ‘ugly’, as a reflection of our own internal ugliness (feelings of resentment, hatred, shame, guilt, etc, etc). We are the most beautiful and yet, the strangest creation of God. God must be wondering!!
Going back to the life story, I narrate here.
Over a decade back, seeing a female model on TV go bald and dress in an Indian attire (saree, bindi and jewellery), it sort of became a wish I wanted to fulfil in life too. That imagery meant immense beauty, undefiable power and the charisma in it was beyond words. It made a massive impact on me and all these years, I only kept waiting to do it myself.
Of course, in our society, even our own hair cut is a family decision. Given the restrictions from family, I, of course could not do it for a long long time. Infact, voicing it also was sinful, so I kept the wish hidden inside of me somewhere.
Last year, after facing one of the worst times of my life and seeing not even a single person from the ones who called themselves family and loved ones, stand next to me, I then, made a choice to follow my heart from now on, always, every single time.
There I am, at the salon, ready to go ‘Bald’. The guy who was going to do it, could not believe I asked him to shave my head. He asked me a few times, and finally realised the women is serious. Now, I also got scared by how everyone was reacting, I instead did it on 1 (mark on shaving electric machine, it has to be on 0 for a complete clean-up).
As the first stroke of hair went away, Arav looks at me and says, “Mumma, what are you doing? You got no hair!”, while he was at the chair next to me getting his hair cut done. I told him, “Yes baby, Mumma is removing all her hair, like how I did for you when you were small”.
WOW, I finally see myself ‘Bald’, I could not contain my happiness and joy of looking at myself in the mirror and appreciating the powerful girl that I saw then, not the one on the outside, but, the one shining from inside. Brimming with happiness, joy and laughter, a sense of freedom, a sense of accomplishing what I wanted to for so long.
Well, the real stuff began now, I had my closest family telling me, “Tu bilkul paagal hai, kisi ke samne mat aana aise, meri to izzat hi nahi rahegi” (You are mad, don’t show this bald face of yours to anyone, else my respect in society will be shattered)
Some murmurs were a good laugh:
- “Yeh paagal hai, door reh isse” (She is insane, stay away from her)
- “Isko cancer hua hai” (She is suffering from cancer)
And, so on…….
To myself, getting bald was one of the best experiences of my life and also came with it were, some really big learnings about myself, absolutely transformational in nature.
- Loving and accepting myself, for who I am, is the best thing I did for myself.
- I discovered so much beauty from within, which of course wasn’t visible to people outside. And, it did not matter to me anymore.
- All these years, I had tied myself to the chains, the so-called family had put on me, which were making me unhappy from within and unhealthy overall.
- A sense of break-free and tremendous power and freedom, freedom from chains I let myself be tied to. No one else, but, me to blame.
- We do not need validation and acceptance for all being ourself from anyone, even our family and friends. And, if they cannot accept you for who you truly are, they do not love you, rather looking to fill empty areas of their life.
- If we keep looking for external validation, we will keep coming across people who would bring us down over and over again.
- If someone doesn’t accept you for who you are, he / she doesn’t deserve a place in your life. As usually heard, changing someone to make them lovable is no less than murdering them (in this case, they die from within).
- Someone who brings you down to rise himself / herself, already feels powerless inside and hence needs to attach to someone to live on their power.
Leaving you with a thought, that really needs deep thinking. It changed me for sure, for good!
Don’t you on some days feel like not dressing up and still do, thinking, what will he / she / they think? Weren’t you being unfaithful to your heart that day?
Take charge of yourself, accept and love yourself.
Our ability to accept ourselves and love self for who we are, is the biggest skill to attain in life.
Our inability to do so, is what is making all beauty products / services thrive so well, since we want to look the best, to impress the world, which is in an indication to self, that we are less. Imagine the global industries that are making money from making us uncomfortable about ourselves, make-up, fancy clothing, fancy footwear, and the list goes on….
A small step, but, can have tremendous impact, commit to a shift of ’15 minutes per day’ from self-grooming on the outside, to self-grooming on the inside, anything that gives you true eternal joy / bliss. Experience the change for yourself.
As, for me, I am beautiful, I completely love every aspect of myself, it doesn’t matter if anyone else loves me or not. I only aim to be a better version of myself every single day, making sure, I am not hurting anyone by my actions. As you rise within yourself, you will find the same energies around.
Universe facilitates what you create. But, you first have to create.
The appreciation I get these days, sounds like this:
“Standing in a corner, fumbling, you looked honest“
“I saw you, you are strong“
“You looked powerful“
“Found a younger sister in you“
“Thankful to have found you“
“You bring out the best in me“
These people were complete strangers few days back. And, we still do not know each other well enough.
I did not know that this side of me could also be visible to anyone. After years of either being ridiculed for being poor in studies, looks, height, nose, etc., or being commoditised to being beautiful (on the outside), nice, sexy, etc.; this new ME is so blissful, grateful and full of love.
Life is full of pleasant surprises, only if we keep our heart open to it.
Thank you Universe for making me, ME, making me seek much more than what’s on the outside. Loving it!
#divyamadhur #bucketlist #dowhatscaresyou #loveyourself #unleashyourself
It was a really emotional read. It was a bold decision you took, leaving behind all societal bondages and burdens which were dragging you down.. may God give you all you want.
Thank you so much Akshay to take time to read and feel the journey. Breaking free from self is the biggest bondage to cut across and explore life.
Dare beauty taken a courageous decision which is not a simple one for many… The strongest woman apply the catalyst to increase the beauty of heart… This will understand for people who sees the beauty of heart…
Hope you had an enough smile and make your happiness as the backbone to it…
Have a great journey of life my sweetest sister…
Thank you so much Hari, that surely means a lot for you to be so kind and loving. God bless you. You are yourself such a bag of happiness for everyone.
It takes guts to do that, that too in a society like ours. Hats off to you..the bold bald and beautiful lady…
Thank you so much Manu for the kind words and taking the time to read. You are yourself such an inspiration every single day.
This article reminds me of the time I decided to go bald/shaved head for good. Family and relatives made fun of me. Even to date people who dare, do ask me if my hair doesn’t grow or is there a problem. My answer always with a smile on my face is ‘I am very comfortable this way and I love it’
So I can relate to how you must have felt and how you had to fight and bare the discouragement from loved ones. It does feel liberating, doesn’t it.
Being yourself, loving thr way you are is the most peaceful state you can be in.
Thank you for this post Divya, loved reading it……
Thank you so much Mohan for taking the time to read and relate. Once you unleash yourself, the comments are nothing, but added fun to life. It surely was a liberating experience and an impactful one.
A very powerful analysis and decisions for the outcome…
Appreciate the tremendous courage you gathered and got up immensely benefited Divya…
Wishing you a.very successful and Awesome journey ahead….
May all your wishes come true
That is so kind of you Sudhir to be so appreciative and wishful. God bless you for all your dreams and wishes.
Very Stunning beauty.
Appreciate your.breakfree attitude
Thank you so much Sudhir for the appreciation and time taken to read the blog.
You are amazing girl. I got goosebumps and wetty eyes now reading through it. Now that’s what I call “mental transformation”. Not letting anybody define you. You have the power and strength to be you. We don’t need external validation. Let go of people who cannot hold on to you, coz they are under loss for loosing the amazing you. Let your light shine brighter ❤️
Thank you so much Kirthana to find the time to read and relate. Love the way you connect emotionally here, it needs a loving heart to feel someone’s else journey so close. You surely have one.
How beautiful it is when the inside of ours matches with the outside. Your step goes a long way in bringing this into perspectives. While i can u give u kudos at what u have done, I can’t bring myself to do this which tells me that I can imbibe so much frm u. Thanks for showing the way and lots of love and power to you
Thanks a lot Sapna for taking the time to read and find something to resonate with. I have a lot to learn from you, you are an inspiration every single day.
Hi Divya , big salute to you dear.
This brought me tears and reminded of my mother who lost her all her hair to cancer treatment and the way she had to carry herself and kept isolated still make me shiver.
She fought a great battle and overcome all without exposing single tear.
Its takes lots of courage to experience that emotion and you have done it .
Your are very inspirational .
Wish you more power and grit in your heart and peace in your soul.
Thank you so much Tufail. It really means a lot when you say this reminds you of your mom’s struggle with cancer and her emotional trauma around it. She has been through a really difficult journey. God provide you and her with the strength to deal with it.
Lots of gratitude to find meaning in my tiny experience. Thanks a lot.
Wow Divya. I can only admire you for your absolute step towards freedom. Free from opinions, judgements. It’s an amazing feeling in any form.
Thank you so much Niti for your time to read and your admiration. Yes, it surely is an amazing feeling.
Be the real you…
Rest all will follow!!!
You are the start and end to all that is!!!
Thank you Sumaiya for the time to read and appreciate. Love the last line you have said here. Beautiful!
Hey divya.. Your story is so empowering.. Especially the line “changing someone to make them lovable is no less than murdering them” – amazing. I totally agree..
“I am beautiful, I completely love every aspect of myself, it doesn’t matter if anyone else loves me or not.” -what an E-code! Loved it! Keep sharing more content like these and keep inspiring..
Thanks a lot Shreyas for the time to read and relating so closely. When the heart talks, no N code can actually survive.
Hey Divya, the world needs more people like you: daring, courageous and strong as hell! It takes a lot to live on your terms and can’t beleive how you have done it! Kudos to you girl!
Thanks so much Achala. We are all making our contributions in our own ways to this world! Lets together make a happier, healthier place to be in!!
Hi Divya,just read your write up. Life is a long journey. You r still very young.l am happy to see you have learnt so much so early.so surely this New Divya is going to achieve much in her life, The journey with Aarav is going to be wonderful. All the best dear. Love Alka.
Thank you so much Alka for finding the time to read and relate. Means a lot, when the words of love and care come from you. God bless you in everything in life.