Beauty, as we know it, is mostly external, or what meets the eye.
Life is full of beauty in ways we can’t even comprehend. In ways, we are most often never told to recognise. The world actually is full only of beautiful things and people.
Things or people are given ugly connotations and meanings by us, humans, God did not create even a single ugly thing or person. Like a painter does not create an ugly painting, all he / she creates is beauty, that’s how the universe made every single thing / person here.
Contrary to God’s creation, humans, when we can’t discover beauty within, we start to call others ‘ugly’, as a reflection of our own internal ugliness (feelings of resentment, hatred, shame, guilt, etc, etc). We are the most beautiful and yet, the strangest creation of God. God must be wondering!!
Going back to the life story, I narrate here.
Over a decade back, seeing a female model on TV go bald and dress in an Indian attire (saree, bindi and jewellery), it sort of became a wish I wanted to fulfil in life too. That imagery meant immense beauty, undefiable power and the charisma in it was beyond words. It made a massive impact on me and all these years, I only kept waiting to do it myself.
Of course, in our society, even our own hair cut is a family decision. Given the restrictions from family, I, of course could not do it for a long long time. Infact, voicing it also was sinful, so I kept the wish hidden inside of me somewhere.
Last year, after facing one of the worst times of my life and seeing not even a single person from the ones who called themselves family and loved ones, stand next to me, I then, made a choice to follow my heart from now on, always, every single time.
There I am, at the salon, ready to go ‘Bald’. The guy who was going to do it, could not believe I asked him to shave my head. He asked me a few times, and finally realised the women is serious. Now, I also got scared by how everyone was reacting, I instead did it on 1 (mark on shaving electric machine, it has to be on 0 for a complete clean-up).
As the first stroke of hair went away, Arav looks at me and says, “Mumma, what are you doing? You got no hair!”, while he was at the chair next to me getting his hair cut done. I told him, “Yes baby, Mumma is removing all her hair, like how I did for you when you were small”.
WOW, I finally see myself ‘Bald’, I could not contain my happiness and joy of looking at myself in the mirror and appreciating the powerful girl that I saw then, not the one on the outside, but, the one shining from inside. Brimming with happiness, joy and laughter, a sense of freedom, a sense of accomplishing what I wanted to for so long.
Well, the real stuff began now, I had my closest family telling me, “Tu bilkul paagal hai, kisi ke samne mat aana aise, meri to izzat hi nahi rahegi” (You are mad, don’t show this bald face of yours to anyone, else my respect in society will be shattered)
Some murmurs were a good laugh:
- “Yeh paagal hai, door reh isse” (She is insane, stay away from her)
- “Isko cancer hua hai” (She is suffering from cancer)
And, so on…….
To myself, getting bald was one of the best experiences of my life and also came with it were, some really big learnings about myself, absolutely transformational in nature.
- Loving and accepting myself, for who I am, is the best thing I did for myself.
- I discovered so much beauty from within, which of course wasn’t visible to people outside. And, it did not matter to me anymore.
- All these years, I had tied myself to the chains, the so-called family had put on me, which were making me unhappy from within and unhealthy overall.
- A sense of break-free and tremendous power and freedom, freedom from chains I let myself be tied to. No one else, but, me to blame.
- We do not need validation and acceptance for all being ourself from anyone, even our family and friends. And, if they cannot accept you for who you truly are, they do not love you, rather looking to fill empty areas of their life.
- If we keep looking for external validation, we will keep coming across people who would bring us down over and over again.
- If someone doesn’t accept you for who you are, he / she doesn’t deserve a place in your life. As usually heard, changing someone to make them lovable is no less than murdering them (in this case, they die from within).
- Someone who brings you down to rise himself / herself, already feels powerless inside and hence needs to attach to someone to live on their power.
Leaving you with a thought, that really needs deep thinking. It changed me for sure, for good!
Don’t you on some days feel like not dressing up and still do, thinking, what will he / she / they think? Weren’t you being unfaithful to your heart that day?
Take charge of yourself, accept and love yourself.
Our ability to accept ourselves and love self for who we are, is the biggest skill to attain in life.
Our inability to do so, is what is making all beauty products / services thrive so well, since we want to look the best, to impress the world, which is in an indication to self, that we are less. Imagine the global industries that are making money from making us uncomfortable about ourselves, make-up, fancy clothing, fancy footwear, and the list goes on….
A small step, but, can have tremendous impact, commit to a shift of ’15 minutes per day’ from self-grooming on the outside, to self-grooming on the inside, anything that gives you true eternal joy / bliss. Experience the change for yourself.
As, for me, I am beautiful, I completely love every aspect of myself, it doesn’t matter if anyone else loves me or not. I only aim to be a better version of myself every single day, making sure, I am not hurting anyone by my actions. As you rise within yourself, you will find the same energies around.
Universe facilitates what you create. But, you first have to create.
The appreciation I get these days, sounds like this:
“Standing in a corner, fumbling, you looked honest“
“I saw you, you are strong“
“You looked powerful“
“Found a younger sister in you“
“Thankful to have found you“
“You bring out the best in me“
These people were complete strangers few days back. And, we still do not know each other well enough.
I did not know that this side of me could also be visible to anyone. After years of either being ridiculed for being poor in studies, looks, height, nose, etc., or being commoditised to being beautiful (on the outside), nice, sexy, etc.; this new ME is so blissful, grateful and full of love.
Life is full of pleasant surprises, only if we keep our heart open to it.
Thank you Universe for making me, ME, making me seek much more than what’s on the outside. Loving it!
#divyamadhur #bucketlist #dowhatscaresyou #loveyourself #unleashyourself