Who did I rescue? Cookie or Myself?

I have talked about this dog near my office who I have been feeding and feel attached to, ever since I saw her. One of the days last week, Arav accompanied me to office and gave her a new name, ‘Cookie‘. Arav also immediately had a connection with her, she came to him, she looked lovingly at him as he fed her.

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Here is a little about how Cookie impacted my life in a few days of meeting her.

Since, the office was going to shut down, it was a constant worry on my mind about her well-being and feeding. I understand that she was doing fine even before I came, but, that wasn’t reassuring enough for me to let her just go. And for me to move on peacefully either.

For few days now, I had been trying to get her picked up, in order to give her a safe abode and a healthy life. All efforts were going in vain. The dog rescuers, Nandinee & Jen who rescued and housed Biscuit, were trying to arrange for Cookie’s pick-up.

As I decided to give her a safe place, I did mention to some newly made friends, who are only committed to make me a better version of myself from today.

Meet Mohan, one kind hearted soul, who expressed willingness to accompany me, even though he wasn’t any more experienced than me in animal rescue. He made time to be there and do whatever he could. He eventually, became the reason why Cookie is now in a safe place.

So we went together on the mission rescue, as we waited to take her to a safer place along with a pet ambulance on Thursday, she just did not appear from anywhere. Contrarily, every day when I used to go to office, she would sniff me from somewhere and come running, dancing and wagging her tail profusely. I had by now become so used to meeting her everyday that not seeing her was hurting me so much. Hovering thoughts, if she is safe, if she is fine, has someone harmed her, and more, were running all over my mind.

After hours of waiting and searching, without any trace of her, we decided to give it a shot another day. So, we are back, on Friday morning prepared to find her again. Alas! Life seems to repeat what happened yesterday, she was no where to be found, mumma’s eyes searching everywhere for her little girl.

Suddenly, while walking the lane, I spot her in a patch of grass and small plants, she was barely visible. I call out on her, she gets up, wags her tail at me. I gave her some water, biscuits to eat. She takes a short walk, and is back in her grassy spot for some cool feeling in this hot weather.

By now, the pet ambulance was here. Time to step up for the mission.

I took the leash from the car, went to her to capture her as seen in some videos (without knowing I would be doing it someday) and as explained by Nandinee over a call. She got trapped in the leash, cried aloud out of fear and managed to escape.

I was sad, coz by now, I had lost her trust. She was running away from me and went into another lane for the fear she just developed from me. I wasn’t sure what to do, but collected myself and gave it another try, this time again she escaped from the leash. And ran really far away from me, looking at me, doubtful and scared.

I lost all my hopes, coz now she was no where in sight. We came close to where the pet ambulance was parked, I put all the things back in the car, and was just standing by the road side thinking how can this be worked out.

What did I see then?

I saw her, sitting calmly, across the road, looking at me, this time it was different, there was hope, trust. I tried to send some love from far, for the fear of losing her as I move close. Slowly, me and Mohan started to walk towards her, she walked away. This bit made me lose any little hope I had of being able to catch her.

Just then Mohan spotted her standing close to an iron gate of a bungalow on the same lane, and decided to get her inside the gate, to have a restricted area for the chase. I was standing elsewhere feeling lost and no ray of hope in mind, and questions in heart about her well-being. He then called out on me to say, “Let’s make this happen”.

That’s the magic of the Universe.

It sends you people, when and how you need them, knowing it well in advance, when, you don’t know of it. 4 of us (including ambulance driver and helper) in the bungalow verandah and my little girl, it was time, she had to be caught now. She knew it, and, we knew it.

She tried her best to fight it out, injured herself slightly in that too. But, finally, was captured and taken to the pet ambulance.

This experience, when I started on it, appeared like picking up a kid from school, and left me with creating a lifelong impact in my life.

Grateful and Blessed

You learn and grow in life, only if you choose to! No one else can do it for you. Once you choose your growth, Universe will make you do it, if you are committed enough.

I learnt I am so blessed and protected by Universe, that each time I sense any lacking feelings in me, there come the ones to support me in all ways possible. Have seen strangers appear from nowhere and hold me up and make me walk each time something devastating happened, people I did not know existed, have become such deep part of my life.

When I first thought of it, I was feeling alone and scared to pull it off by myself, my first time to rescue a dog. Universe sent Mohan to support me, encourage me, and push me to accomplish what I wanted to, most importantly, super-imposing my belief in myself.

The day before the rescue, Nandinee gave me all the tips to be prepared for it, even when she was busy in some other critical dog rescue and treatment case. Arranged for Pet Ambulance, spoke to the shelter for a place for her and her treatment.

I was short of time and had to buy a leash to catch her. Before leaving home, I called a neighbour, a pet-mom, Shivani to enquire a shop nearby, instead she offered me a leash, even though I told her, the leash may not come back, she was all happy to offer her part to this.

The 2 boys who came with the pet ambulance, driver and helper, were so instrumental in making it happen. Though initially, the boys did not move at all, as they saw me struggling even after 2 failed attempts of getting her in the leash, they stepped up to the objective of the day.

The car cleaner, office boy, building / house guards, all these saw us on both days finding her, and kept giving us updates of when they saw and where as we moved in search of her. Offered smiles as we managed to do it and leave.

One kind person deserves a mention for sure, don’t even know her name. As I stood in my former office building, which has been vacated now, the building staff did not allow us to use the washroom after Cookie had been sent to shelter. While we were at the reception, a lady from another office said we could come with her to her office washroom and freshen up, after the rescue.

Love and Kindness comes in forms and places, we expect the least from. Being open to receiving it is all we need to do and pass it on, as we come across opportunities.

The Storm of emotions

It wasn’t just another passing day, the emotions that stormed me before, during and after deserve to be talked about. I can’t even call it a mix of emotions, it was a whole ‘whirlpool‘ of it.

The feeling that I have never felt as strongly ever, was being grateful that God made me capable of being able to do all of this, of being able to bring about a change in some other living being’s life.

Not being able to spot her on both days for sometime, had me worried and also thinking that she might just be fine.

In both the attempts of me putting leash in her neck, she cried out loud. It brought in me, the feeling of being a villain giving her pain, yet a tough motherly feeling trying to give her a better life. Kept wondering, what would she be thinking.

May be “I trusted her, what is she doing with me?”

or “Why is she making me go through all this pain?”

When she sat across the road looking at me, I saw love, I saw trust, although broken, but still there.

While catching her, there was emotional and physical pain she was going through, all I wanted to do at that time was to free her from the pain, I was causing her. At the same time, a hopeful heart that some day she will be only in love without any pain.

As she was captured and loaded in ambulance to go for a check-up, she had given up her fight to free herself, but I also saw the return of love for me and trust for what’s coming ahead.

All I told her, as I said bye to the ambulance was “Mumma will meet you very soon baby!!”

Fear, Love, Hope, Loss, Helplessness, Victory, all at the same time and more.

This experience made me immensely thankful to how Universe loves me for who I am. At the same time, a huge realisation that someone who loves you would never feel happy and content giving you pain. As a child and also as an adult, I have gone through, physical abuse in the name of love, sexual abuse in the name of love, verbal / emotional abuse in the name of love, I always agreed to succumb to it telling myself that the person (abuser) loves me (who actually did not) bearing the pain was my way of keeping the relationship intact. I kept holding on to those, trying to keep them happy by getting abused by them, only to realise it wasn’t love, and all that was happening in the process, was me losing myself.

Anytime, you see someone put you through pain for their pleasure, it’s not LOVE, even, if it’s a family member. Anyone who is not for your growth and betterment, does not love you.

As I recused Cookie, my inner deamons got rescued. I no longer seek answers to why someone caused me pain, if he / she loved me. I know now, ‘they didn’t‘.

She is now being tested and treated for any health concerns.

Thank you Universe for all the blessings in my life.

Love

Div